Toy Story

Sex and the City's Samantha makes the most of fireman's suspenders

Before I began my journey of celibacy, I encountered an accidental dry spell last year that lasted three months. I simply couldn’t find anyone I wanted to shag. When my single and sexually active friend heard my dilemma, she came to my rescue:

“We’re getting you a vibrator,” she determined with a resolute nod of her head, a desperate times calls for desperate measures steeliness in her eyes. I had never used a vibrator (not by myself anyway–it had always been a sexual aid rather than a replacement) so I was a little scared but my friend was firm. She suggested something called the We-Vibe and regaled me with stories about how she spent the whole weekend in bed with her new toy and only emerged when she worried her livelihood might be compromised if she didn’t leave the house soon.

At the “toy store” the well-informed (and not very attractive, I might add) saleswoman made me blush on several occasions with her detailed accounts of how to use the various vibrators. The We-Vibe was no longer available due to issues unknown. Scary. So I went with the ever-popular since being featured on Sex and the City Rabbit. Oh my God, does this gadget ever leave masturbation in the dust. It’s not the same as having a man–nothing plastic ever is–but I felt the same relief of tension I felt after a real session! My head was clear! I was no longer cranky! I could work again.

“Well, at least it takes the edge off,” I thought to myself. And you know that baby will be getting a workout over the next year. Year! Oh, Lord, how will I manage?

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Published in: on September 22, 2010 at 3:17 am  Leave a Comment  
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