Waxing Poetic on Colin Farrell

I went for my monthly wax today. When I called the salon to make the appointment they asked me what services I required. I said a full leg wax, bikini and underarm.

“Regular bikini, full Brazilian, or French?”

“Brazil–” I stopped myself short because now that nobody else was going to see me naked did it matter whether I had hair down there? Kind of like the ‘if a tree falls in the forest’ philosophy. I know we’re supposed to do these grooming rituals for ourselves, self-love and all that, but the part of myself I did it for was my ego which loved the reaction my hairless pussy got from whatever guy I was with.

 I was also thinking of the change in approach to the waxing schedule as a good opportunity to save some cash. Full Brazilians are way more expensive than regular bikini waxes (in which they just take enough off the sides so it doesn’t poke out of your underwear). So, now for the first time in two years I don’t look like a porn star. I figure my unmown thatch of hair will keep me honest, too, because there’s no way I’m letting any man see me naked like this.

Driving home from my appointment I remembered a time I had sex with two different guys in one day. I’m not sure if I am proud or ashamed of that; more like bewildered. I had a one-night stand with A and in the morning we did it again. I rushed home in time to shower and be ready for a date with J who was picking me up at noon, and after our lunch date I had sex with him, too. I was very attracted to both of these guys, which is the reason I had sex with them. It’s not any more complicated than that.

Only problem is when you start out with sex there is really nowhere left to go. I’ve heard many people say it’s been done, that having sex right away can lead to some beautiful long-term relationships. For me, however, it has only led to more sex and less connection. For me, I’ve decided, if I’m going to have the relationship my heart desires and fall in love for the first time, I’m going to have to make the connection first and hold off on the sex until later.

I used to say I had to have two guys at once before I died. A threesome and Colin Farrell were both on my to-do list. Now, I feel as though I could just possibly live without those as well.


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