Jerry Maguire Complete Yourself

The film Jerry Maguire receives a lot of flack for the romantic declaration of its lead character: “You complete me.” Tom Cruise’s character is pleading with the love of his life Renee Zellweger to take him back on the basis that she makes him whole. The critics (mostly single women) say it’s a bad message, that you need to complete yourself before can you enter into a healthy and meaningful relationship with another person.

I get these daily meditiations sent to my inbox every day and today’s reading put it intelligently: “relationships are multiplicative not additive.” The author explained the term ‘better half’ is faulty because one-half times one-half is one-quarter–you end up with even less than you had in the beginning. If you begin as a whole person and add another, one times one is still one. You come together as two complete people to make an even greater whole. I had never heard it put that way and it made a lot of sense. Math usually does.

The author went on to advise that a partner should not be someone you need but someone you enjoy. He should not have the power to give or take away your happiness, but should be a partner in adventure. That’s one of the reasons I’m taking this year away from sex. I’m still at the point where men have the power to give or take away my happiness based on how frequently they contact me and the quality of that communication. My goal is to reach the point where being with a man only brings me joy and none of the silly drama that’s been part and parcel of every relationship regardless of how trivial.

I want to feel good. Not hurt. Or insecure. Or confused. Or needy. I just want to feel good. I do that just fine by myself. I’d like to find a way to feel that way with a man.

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Published in: on September 27, 2010 at 3:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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