Lady Gaga inspires an a-ha moment

I’m feeling a little sad today as a result of this process. Some things are coming up for me that are outside of the usual feelings of physical deprivation resulting from my sexual abstinence. I am feeling a kind of mourning for the lack of connection with a man. I was listening to a song on the car radio–Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. When that song first came out I had just ended an ill-fated affair with an Englishman and I was amazed at the way it described my “relationship” that was all drama and sex and nothing real, no spiritual connection.

When I heard the song today, it reminded me of the latest “relationship” gone wrong and I thought to myself: I’ve NEVER had a good relationship! EVERY romance has been a bad one. I’ve always blamed the other person, but who’s the common denominator here? It’s me! Is it possible I could be the problem?

Maybe one of the benefits of this whole chastity experiment could be that I gain a little humility. This giant ego of mine might see that the reason I’ve never had a connection with a man might have something to do with me.

Published in: on September 29, 2010 at 2:20 am  Leave a Comment  
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