To Serve and Protect

The Ugly Truth starring Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl

I heard a relationship expert say that men have a biological instinct to protect women. When you hear about men beating on women they are usually drunk, insane, or in a blind rage (or all three). When men are in their right minds, however, and in touch with their instincts, their biological compulsion is to protect and provide for women.

On my way to traffic court yet again, it occurred to me all the ways I have benefitted from men’s instinct to protect women. I get pulled over all the time by cops and never get penalized to the full extent of the law. The male officer always reduces the charges ridiculously so that I end up with a flimsy fine and an invitation to go to court to fight it (wink, wink) rather than the hefty speeding ticket and demerit points I deserve. Hence, my recurring appearances in traffic court. Without real consequences for my violations, I’m going to keep winding up in court and having my charges withdrawn and getting off scot free and the cycle continues.

I’m not sure what my bad driving record has to do with my year without sex but I feel it is another aspect of my nature I am uncovering as I stay away from men: the way I have taken advantage of their basic instinct to protect me. Whether it is the traffic cop, or my father, or my teachers, men have consistently let me get away with all kinds bad behaviour…if I were a guy, chances are I might be in prison.

A lot of men–we’ll call them bad boys–get an ego rush from getting women to do things for them. They feel like they’ve accomplished something difficult because they can get a woman to do what they want. What they don’t know is that women are by nature giving and nurturing so the easiest thing in the world is to get us to do something for you! Because men are not wired that way, they feel like they’ve accomplished something if they can take advantage of a woman that way.

I realize I have felt the same misplaced victory with men. I got a big ego rush out of knowing if the cop’s a guy I am never going to get the punishment I deserve. I thought it was because I was pretty and charming. Wrong! It’s just that giving me a ticket and demerit points goes against all a man’s instincts to protect me. Just like the guy who thinks he’s getting one over on the girl because she does something for him, I was an idiot to think me not getting tickets had anything to do with anything besides biology.

A man’s instinct is to protect a woman; a woman’s instinct is to give and nurture. These are truly beautiful qualities that would complement each other so nicely if we would stop working so hard to take advantage of one another.

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Published in: on October 1, 2010 at 7:00 pm  Leave a Comment  
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