Snow shovelling

It’s been almost six months now since I had a man. I haven’t gone that long without one since before I lost my virginity. I don’t miss having a man, except when it comes to things like hanging a picture or shovelling the driveway. Just today, I was brushing off my car after a heavy snow fall and it crossed my mind that I might like a man to take care of this while I sat nice and warm inside the car with a hot cup of coffee. Then I thought “Nah, I’d rather be single and do my own dirty work.” Because after he brushes the car, he gets inside and sits beside you and you’re stuck with him for the whole drive and maybe even longer. The thought that I would instead drive alone in peace made me so happy that all of a sudden brushing the snow off my own car seemed like a wonderful privilege rather than a chore.

I guess I am settling into being single and liking it quite a lot. The reason for that is I am growing to like myself. Before I didn’t know myself at all because I was so distracted by the drama of serial relationships that I never had a chance to get to know me. Now that I have had some time away from men, I am finding that I have so much more time for healthy self-reflection. I have no idea if I will wind up in a relationship with a man anywhere near the end of this year-long experiment. I will, however, have the gift of self-knowledge and a healthy and loving relationship with myself.

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