Life Lessons

It hit me like a slow-motion hammer today that I have no idea what constitutes a healthy relationship. I realize it’s not enough to just stay away from men. I’m not going to have a year of celibacy and miraculously be cured of my inability to build a meaningful relationship with a member of the opposite sex. After doing some reading I sense that most people who get into decent relationships have an idea of what they are looking for before they get into them.

To know what you are looking for in a partner you have to know yourself. I never gave much thought to what I wanted in a partner because I had little self-awareness. I didn’t know what boundaries were or that you needed them to have a successful relationship. I didn’t know that good relationships are peaceful and drama free for the most part. I didn’t know that relationships should make you feel safe. I didn’t know that they should progress at a steady rate.

The one thing I’ve learned is that you must not start with sex. I’ve decided sex will wait until I’m in a relationship. I’ve also learned that I must set personal boundaries and refuse to allow them to be crossed if I am to share a healthy emotional bond with another person. I have so much more to learn before I even begin to think about going on a date, let alone sharing my life with someone.

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Boundaries…great tool! Be healthy and happy!

    • I know, hey! Still figuring out what mine are!

  2. Hi! I just discovered your blog! this is great! Every entry is just as good if not better than the last!

    • Wow, thanks! I appreciate that. I’m just kind of writing what comes to me as I evolve through this year of abstinence.


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