Breaking patterns

sex, boyfriend, marriage, husbandI just read an interesting article that said people who take a break from relationships often never find their way back to love! They get so comfortable in the drama and hurt-free lifestyle that they coast there and never seek out another partner. They may also have a revelation in which they look back at all their past failed relationships and realize they are the common denominator. They feel incapable or unworthy of a healthy relationship so they stop trying altogether. That sounds like me!

Although I have five more months of self-imposed exile from sex I confess to having got into a mindset where I am enjoying my own company so much that I can’t imagine ever wanting to share it with someone else. Relationships to me do mean hurt, drama and hits to my self-esteem. Instead of envisioning my ideal relationship and moving toward that, I’m living in fear of entering into another hurtful version of what went on in my past relationships.

One of the key things this article said about redefining what relationship means to you is to get out there and meet different types of people than you’ve met before. It’s all about breaking patterns and redefining what a relationship means to you. It also means finding out what you need from a partner and learning to pick a partner who can satisfy those needs. The first thing that came to mind is I need someone who makes me feel safe. It’s a start.


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