Sexual tension

Due to a high stress level I’ve been thinking about sex today, craving it I guess you could say. I got a Facebook invitation to an event I knew an old flame would be attending and I thought about going to the party and taking him home just so I could get some relief! It seemed like such a good idea and so easy and simple. But of course it’s not. It’s actually quite complicated.

I was shocked at how flippantly I could think about sex after all I’ve been through these eight months avoiding it and growing from the experience. I set a boundary (something new for me) that I’m not having sex again unless I’m in a relationship with someone…a real relationship that’s been progressing steadily for a few months. I’m not jumping into bed with anyone. I decided that a while ago, so it’s frustrating to have old thoughts come back as though no shift in me has transpired over the last few months, even though I know it has.

Of course I miss sex and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, but I don’t miss that empty feeling after you have sex with someone you don’t care for and who doesn’t really care for you. That’s the feeling I have to remember, not the fleeting pleasure that comes before.

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