Flirting with disaster

Flirting, party, men, relationship, boyfriend

I mentioned in the last post that I got invited to a party where an old “friend” would be attending. Well, today I got invited to another party: same scenario, different guy. Of course as soon I accepted the invitation I began thinking about what would happen when I saw him, whether he would be with a girl, would I ignore him or pretend I didn’t see him? Then I thought “what if he’s with a girl and I’m alone?”

So I remembered a good-looking male friend I have and how I could bring him as my fake date to make the guy jealous. So much energy going into thinking about someone I no longer care about and who I may not even see anyway! Is it possible for me to just go to the party? Why all the manipulation and attempts to control the situation and use my friend like a puppet just because he’s handsome? How rude and disrespectful of me!

I decided after all that scheming in my head that if I’m going to have a healthy relationship with a man one day I have to keep my motives pure. I will go to the party either by myself or with a girlfriend. I will treat the man I dated in the past with courtesy and respect (if I see him); I will not flirt with him or try to get him to want me so my ego feels satisfied, nor will I hope that he will be eating his heart out over me. I will be honest and if I feel uncomfortable, so be it. Because the truth behind my scheming was the same as it has been with many men in my past: I don’t want him; I just want him to want me.

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Published in: on April 13, 2011 at 3:23 am  Leave a Comment  

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