sex, relationship, man, woman, boy, girl

Oh no, I’ve developed a bit of an attraction to someone in my circle of friends and it doesn’t seem to be going away. He doesn’t know about it and I’ve been avoiding him because I want to be true to my commitment of staying away from men for a year. I’m pretty sure he feels nothing for me (he has a girlfriend) but, just in case, I am keeping a safe distance because I still don’t trust my motives when it comes to men.

As the expression “what you resist persists” explains, the more I try not to think about him, the more he creeps into my mind. I am so frustrated with myself because I feel I am back where I started, letting a man distract me even though he is not reciprocating my feelings. This is the type of behaviour from which I thought I was free: obsessing over a man who is thinking of me little if at all.

I wonder if I am doing it to relieve my boredom at being alone? Since I know resisting the feeling of attraction only makes it worse, I am doing my best to accept it and hope it passes. Does my avoidance of this fellow I see quite regularly in social situations serve to intensify my desire for him? And I’m not supposed to be desiring men anyway! Should I engage with him in conversation and hope that I can dissipate the feelings that way? I was doing so well, rolling along not thinking about men and improving my relationship with myself. Now I have this schoolgirl crush on a guy who has no interest in me. Well, at least my celibacy is not threatened!

I can only call this a curve ball but feel it must have a purpose. Have you ever been in a situation like this? How did you deal with it?


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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I know exactly how you feel. I have been celibate for the last 11 months and it is even harder when you like someone! Out of sight out of mind is the best motto I have… but it doesn’t always work too well for me either! It’s like this experiment I read about where they had one group of people that were not allowed to think about elephants and one group that were allowed to think about elephants. The grou pof people who weren’t supposed to think about elephants ended up thinking about them FAR more than the people that were allowed. My thoughts on this matter are for you to think about him ALL you want in any way that you want… but just don’t act on those thoughts! lol 🙂 Hang in there, chica!

    • Great great great advice. Especially in light of the elephant experiment! Thank you ❤

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