Dating and relationship

sex, relationship, men, women, marriage, God

I read about a book today called I Kissed Dating Goodbye, written by a man named Joshua Harris on why he stopped dating until he was ready for marriage. I have not yet read the book and I’d love to hear from anyone who has in the comments below. A Wikipedia search revealed that Harris holds the view that singleness need not be a burden nor characterized by selfishness. Sounds like a book I want to pick up!

He explains in the book (apparently) that dating has become a selfish act in which each person is trying to find their perfect match and in so doing they put up a front or a facade in order to be what the other person wants. I can profess to having done this on dates and having it done to me, too. In fact, I’m not sure I ever went on a date in which the man was not trying to impress me or show that he agreed with everything I said.

I have to admit a lifelong discomfort with dating because it seems so cold and detached, too much like shopping around, which many experts unabashedly say that it is. That’s what they think is good about it! If you’re a person who feels deeply, however, or is introverted and shy, serial dating is probably not the best course to take if you want the real you to shine through.

In an interview, author Joshua Harris explains the spirit of the book this way:

Don’t pursue romance until you’re ready for commitment. Enjoy the single years and don’t have the mindset that you have to have a girlfriend or boyfriend.” That’s what I say!

What do you think?

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I think I need to pick up this book. Lately, I have been so consumed with the idea of being lonely and single.

    • Aw, maybe we can read it together and compare notes. I know how it feels to sleep in an empty bed night after night but remember that you are enough. Better than that. Promise to do your best to love yourself and your friends and family.

  2. I read this book back when I was single. It is very Christian based. A lot of it was helpful, and other things I didn’t really agree with I just pushed aside. I usually do that with books or advice. I take the parts that resonate with me and leave the rest behind. It may be worth reading…Another book I really love that is also Christian based but good is The Path of Loneliness by Elisabeth Elliot. It really helped me when I felt alone being single. She also writes other books for singles waiting to have sex.

    • Thanks for giving me your perspective on the book. I still have yet to pick it up but based on your review I think I will give it a go and just use what speaks to me. Thanks for recommendation of the other book. Sounds like it might be useful for me on this journey.


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