How I’ve changed since I stopped having sex ten months ago:

1. My body is not bait. I no longer judge my body or feel detached from it, but love it for what it can do like run and play sports.

2. I dress modestly. I used to wear short skirts and strapless dresses all the time. Now nothing is above the knee or low-cut and I don’t expose anything more than my arms. My body feels sacred and I don’t want to show it off to just anybody.

3. Sex is not physical. At first I was counting down the days and months until I could have sex again, tossing and turning in bed from the physical withdrawal abstinence causes. Now I realize sex is something more than physical: it belongs in a relationship between two people who want to share their love for one another in an intimate way.

4. I’m free from lust. Most of the time anyway. I decided if I want men to stop objectifying me, I have to do the same for them. So I don’t look at men that way even though it’s getting harder with the hot weather and no sleeves.

5. I’m not obsessed with my appearance. I feel fine leaving the house without make-up or hair done. Before that was unthinkable; since I’m no longer looking for male attention I don’t care too much how I look to them. I’d rather be comfortable.


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