Boston Bruins’ wives at Stanley Cup final

I was watching the last part of the Stanley Cup final tonight and the camera kept focusing on two of the Boston Bruins’ wives. One of them was what I think of as a typical trophy wife – perfect hair, make-up, outfit, and reserved behaviour. I was surprised and refreshed to see the other wife (of goalie Tim Thomas) in a plain grey t-shirt, hair loosely pulled back, and minimal, if any, make-up. She was relaxed and comfortable, completely unselfconscious. I had never seen a hockey player’s wife looking so unaffected at a Stanley Cup game!

stanley cup final, hockey game, hockey player, hockey wives, boston bruins, vancouver canucks, sex, abstinence, celibacy

The reason I bring this up is I used to look like Wife #1. My appearance was ultra-important to me: I felt I had to look and act perfect to even have the right to take up space in public! I had little self-confidence so I highlighted my appearance to detract from what I felt was lacking inside. As I travel on this journey of celibacy I am becoming more like Wife #2. I don’t wear make-up all the time, often pull my hair back rather than style it, and wear what feels comfortable rather than what looks “hot”. I’m a fairly active person, so a more relaxed look suits my lifestyle better as well.

I also realize that if I want to be valued for something more than my looks I have to stop paying so much attention to my appearance. If I want someone to love me for my inside rather than my outside I need to spend more time developing and showcasing my inner beauty rather than concentrating on the outer facade.

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