No more relationship and dating drama

relationship, sex, celibate, abstinence, God, marriage

I saw a friend today who has started dating someone and it reinforced for me why I stopped dating and took a vow of celibacy for a year. She admits to obsessing over this guy and losing sleep over him, waiting for him to call, vacillating between insane desire for him and red hot anger at him for forgetting they had a date (!) She isn’t even sure if he will call her again. This seems a bit outrageous to me.

Ah, but I must remember the behaviour is not far from the way I acted in the past with men I was dating. Oh, the drama! Oh, the way I wanted them to be so much better than they were! Oh, how I wanted them to fill that gaping hole inside me that could only be filled with my own self-love. My other friend told me to begin a love affair with myself (and she wasn’t talking about masturbating!) She said to go buy myself roses, take myself to dinner, go get a massage, and although it sounded kind of trite at first, I have been doing those things and it does make you feel good.

My first friend won’t stop thinking about someone who is likely not thinking much about her at all. She also had sex with him within a short time even though she said she would wait three months. Hearing this made me more adamant that I want to wait till I’m married to have sex again. I’ve gone this long and I’m really in no hurry. Sex has become meaningless to me outside of marriage, even sinful. Why? I think my head is getting clear and I’m getting back to what I was taught as a child. Those values that we forget when the world gets hold of us never really get old.

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