Conscious Loving is Easy

sex, relationship, marriage, single woman, couples, celibate, dating

During the past year I discovered an amazing book called Conscious Loving which helps couples repair broken relationships by being honest with one another about their feelings and stop blaming, criticizing and being defensive toward one another. The couple who wrote the book say they haven’t criticized or even said an unkind word to one another in fifteen years by using the methods they present in the book.

They say it’s most important to work on your inner self to improve the relationship and to drop criticism and attempts to change the other person. Self-awareness is key, they say. They also believe that society lies to us when it says love and relationships are hard work. True Love is easy, they say.

The authors, the Hendricks, explain that our relationships give us an opportunity to work through past issues in our lives and grow and mature as a result. Unfortunately most of us resist that opportunity for growth and rather than addressing a problem will deny, withdraw, or blame and criticize our partner. Conscious loving occurs when partners are willing to work through issues and see them as opportunities to grow. Rather than being defensive toward one another (which is exhausting and depletes creativity and causes boredom with our partner), the couple stands together facing the world to be productive and contributing members of society.

For single people like me, the Hendricks advise being sure of your 3 absolute Yes’s and No’s before embarking on a new relationship. I decided for me the 3 most important qualities I value in a partner:

1. Faith in God

2. Active/Athletic

3. Honest about feelings

My 3 No’s or Dealbreakers:

1. Wants children (no more for me, thank you)

2. Lacks formal education

3.  Mental Illness

What are your 3 absolute Yes’s and No’s?

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