Women becoming the men they want to marry

love, marriage, relationship, wife, husband, sex, abstinence, celibacy

I’ve been hearing a lot about how being relationship ready requires (for a woman anyway) becoming magnetic and inviting love into your life. It sounds a lot like surrender and I can see how the approach has worked in other areas of my life; you know, you want something so bad and then as soon as you let it go it comes to you, only better than you ever imagined. I’ve found in my life that I get the things I imagine or dream about but they come in a different way than I had envisioned. I believe our thoughts are powerful that way. I’m not sure how God works in our lives, but I know a few people who believe our destiny is already planned out and we need to let it unfold. I wonder if those imaginings I had that wound up coming true (in their own way) were premonitions of what was in store for me anyway?

I’ve heard some women say you have to become the person you want to attract. For instance if you want an athletic person, you need to be athletic yourself. I understand that to a certain degree, but there are things we admire in men particularly because they are different than us. For instance, I want a man who is confident taking charge. Does that mean I become a take-charge woman? Of course not, quite the opposite I would think. We gravitate toward people who possess qualities we lack which is why you often see a shy person with an extrovert. Two introverts may not amount to a lot of fun and two extroverts cancel each other out.

I realize at this moment I have no idea what I want in a man, or if I want one at all. It’s still difficult for me to find a reason to be close to a man other than sex – and as you know, sex is off the table. After all these years, I still find it hard to be comfortable around men, still don’t know what to make of them; I can’t even imagine what it’s like to go on a date (what would I say?). I signed up for an online dating site and have been inundated with interest. Men like the way I look, almost universally. I’ve not responded to anyone, simply because no one has been physically attractive to me. That’s an old habit of seeking only handsome men. I’ve been told that physical chemistry is perhaps the worst predictor of a solid relationship and it’s best to go against type when choosing a potential partner. Let them grow on you. Looks aren’t everything. But they are something, aren’t they?

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. this was great. I think what matters most if so be concerned about how your spirituality is and that if you grow to be the person you want spiritually, God will give you such a gift. It is kinda cool when I meet couples who like different things but they are dead on with one another when it comes to God-stuff. I laughed when you said that you haven’t chosen anyone in the dating service because you haven’t been physically attracted. I do think that definitely has to be part of it, but at the same time you never know if you’ll GROW attracted to them as you get to know what they are really like. Sometimes God will create an attraction over time that you can’t even look at anyone else because that person becomes the most amazing looking person on earth. hehe. Wonderfully encouraging post. Thanks for always responding by the way to my Ruby-Eyed Okapi site’s articles!!!

    • Thank you, Victoria. I thoroughly enjoy your posts – they encourage me quite a bit.


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