Not a love match made in heaven

dating, relationship, man, single woman,, internet

Well, I’ve called in one and it definitely wasn’t The One! I’ve told you guys that I’ve been reading a book about learning how to love and accept yourself so you can draw in a lover who is just right for you: law of attraction type of stuff. At the same time I’ve done the unthinkable (for me anyway) and signed up for an internet dating service (it’s a big one: maybe you can guess). The response has been kind of spotty with lots of winks and “likes” on my photos, the occasional email exchange without any follow-up and one guy who was totally randy and only wanted to talk dirty all the time. His second email to me read: “I really want to get naked with you. Am very attracted.” He even invited me to check out a “hot picture” of himself that he took for me… so we may have been entering Wiener territory, I’m not sure.

Then a cute, younger guy sent me a very nice email. The age difference was significant so I wrote back and mentioned that I am ten years older than his upper limit on his profile so he may have made a mistake. Perhaps that’s my low (let’s call it developing) self-esteem talking but I just wanted to be clear. He wrote back and said “No mistake” and he’d like to get to know me better. He asked for my phone number right away but I wanted to wait until I knew him better for security reasons. I want to stay true to my new boundaries and not bust them up all over again looking for the approval of a man.

After a few pleasant exchanges he asked once again for my phone number and I obliged. The very next morning he sent me a text saying hello. I thought that was nice although wondered why ask for my phone number if you’re going to continue typing. I also have a boundary with men in which I don’t exchange text messages. Although I was tempted to return his text again because I feared he might go away if I didn’t, I held fast to my new rule and reminded myself that I deserve a nice good morning text without being obliged to return it. Also, I want to start as I mean to go on. If I have set a boundary in which I don’t engage in texting with men, I must send the right message from the beginning.

Later in the day he phoned me and I got a voice mail message which sounded very nice. He said hello and asked me to call him back when I could. At that point I was off to pick up my children from school and spend the remainder of the evening with them. So I made a mental note to call this much younger man about 9:30 after my children were tucked in bed. Right in the middle of bedtime rituals, my phone rang again and I had the feeling it was him. I was on my way to the phone but got there on the last ring and missed the call. Immediately, a text came in that read “What was the point of this?” This, less than a day after I have given him my phone number.

I really wanted to ignore him but I know how that feels when you think someone is playing games with you (although I’d usually wait at least three days before getting upset about it!) So I called him back expecting him to be a little sheepish or embarrassed, even apologetic. All the men I’ve dealt with do their best to keep their cool. Instead he was mad and started in on me right away. All of a sudden, I knew what it felt like to be a man! And it didn’t feel good. I have read so many dating advice books that say “always let him know you are happy he called” and now I know why! It feels crappy to call someone and have them be mad at you. I’m not sure if I ever did that to a man before but I’m never going to do it again. I’m taking it as a really good lesson, and in case you haven’t guessed, I told this young man we’re not a good “match”.

Do you have any interesting internet dating stories?


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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Reblogged this on Vasile Roata.

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