The Dating Pool

Well, now that I’ve put my toe into the dating pool I’m beginning to get a few bites! I was asked out for the second time last week and for the second time I did something to mess it up! I am pretty sure this is my subconscious which is not ready for dating, even though my conscious mind says yes. A gentleman asked me out and did all the things the way I like them done – asked for my phone number, called me several times, asked me out and then planned the date. On the morning of the date I woke up sick and had to cancel. But instead of being disappointed I was relieved. Relieved because I wouldn’t have to go outside my comfort zone and risk being rejected or finding out that he wasn’t for me.

Perhaps the reason I got sick is that it wasn’t meant to be: he is younger than me and I am looking for a marriage bound relationship while he is looking for a good time. I am pretty sure that if I told him I am waiting until I’m married to have sex he would bolt. But I won’t know for sure because I didn’t get the chance to find out. Another guy asked me out and although I’ve said yes I am not feeling optimistic – and I am a very optimistic person! I keep coming up with reasons why this date will be a waste of time and I’ll never find the right man for me…what kind of an attitude is that?

I think I will go out with both of these gentleman and reserve judgment: go in without any expectations about the outcome and find some joy in meeting a new person and the growth that comes from stretching outside one’s comfort zone.

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