Practical dating and texting

dating, relationship, single woman, men, marriage, God

The fellow with whom I had my “first” date last Friday definitely liked me because he texted me the next day to say hello. The fact that he won’t use the phone to dial my digits and call is an issue for me but at least I know where I stand with him. The thing I don’t like about text (and the reason I decided not to use it to communicate with men) is that it doesn’t tell you anything and it doesn’t go anywhere except on the occasion when it is misinterpreted as written communication is wont to be.

So the text conversation goes something like this:

Him: How are you doing tonight?

Me: Great thanks just getting home.

Him: What did you get up to?

Me: Spent time with some friends.

Him: What did you do, dinner or something?

Me: Just met up at someone’s place for a chat

Him: Sounds like a fun time

Etc.

What’s happening here is I’m getting more a feel for this guy and seeing he’s not the leader I need in a relationship. He does not take charge of the conversation and use it to find out more about me or take it in a direction that will help me know more about him. It is useless fluff. I refuse to lead the conversation and so it just fizzles out after going nowhere. The fact that he does not call also tells me something: either he is too lazy or lacks courage, both of which are unappealing.

What I’m learning now is that every experience with a man is an opportunity to find out more about what you want and don’t want, what feels good to you and what doesn’t. It is a journey of self-discovery. I never saw dating that way in the past. I would have been so busy trying to get him to like me that I would never had paid attention to any of these signals or had any idea what I really wanted. The new way is so much better for both of us because nobody is being manipulated or lied to, we are both just trying to get our needs met.

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hi! I came across your blog and I must say I really liked this post.

    You shouldn’t have texted him back from the beginning. If he likes you, he’ll call. When you text a man, not only is it pointless but it makes them treat women casually, and that’s not what your goal is. While it is true, you want a man to be the leader, he did not impress you by how he texted with you.

    I recently read this book that I think you should also read. It’s called Text. Love. Power. by Vanessa Taylor and it’s only available online through kindle (you can download kindle for free to your computer), and it’s a life saver. You can check out my review of the book at my blog http://datelessndallas.com

    Anyway, keep up the good work on your blog. I’m a new reader, and feel free to check out mine 🙂 Have a blessed day!

    Bella

    • Thanks for your comment, I really appreciate your support. I did make the mistake of responding and I think that’s partly because I don’t take him seriously. I am seeking a marriage-bound relationship and this fellow is too young for that. He’s nice, though, so I wanted to give him a chance.


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