Women with an aversion to nice men

wife, husband, marriage, relationship, single womanThe words of Rumi above spoke to me because I’ve learned on my journey that the best way to improve the world is to improve yourself. It’s also the best way to get ready for a relationship. I’ve been working on myself incessantly and I now realize the importance of self-love and self-care. I’ve replaced feelings of loneliness with a desire to nurture myself and be easy on myself, to take time for myself and treat myself they way I’d want someone else to treat me.

I saw a therapist today to discuss my penchant for unavailable men and while she was asking me questions about my relationship history, I realized with astounding clarity that I have left every man (or boy) who tried to be nice to me. I have been patently incapable of being sexually attracted to a man who treated me decently. It didn’t matter how handsome or amazing he was, if he was nice I walked. And that’s something they say about women like us – we have an aversion to nice men. The therapist also said we tend to pick the same partners over and over again unless we are extremely conscious about doing the work to change that imprinting. So, let’s begin!

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Excellent quote! Sad post, in a way, but glad to see that you realize where you’re at. My question is, why do you leave guys who are nice to you?

    • It’s very subconscious and takes a bunch of unpacking to discover but it’s daddy issues: my father was emotionally unavailable so if a guy is too nice to me it doesn’t feel right. It feels ‘right’ to have to work for a man’s attention and never get it.


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